I remember being small and going to the circus. I didn’t go a lot. Maybe two or three times in my life. But I do remember the excitement. Entering the tent. Sitting on tiny little chairs that must have been killing my parents but for me felt like heaven. The smell of the animals. The whispering of the crowd. And then the shows. Breathtaking. Enchanting. Magical. It was a fairy tale adventure and the excitement would give me sleepless nights for days to follow. I remember all that like it was yesterday. And I wonder what happened to those years. Those moments of thrilling sensations. That time when days lasted forever and waiting for things to happen lasted an eternity.
I grew older and lost that innocence. I have come to know things that has lifted the veil of magic from my life. I have gained knowledge and wisdom, but lost my grip on miracles. It is good, really. It is how things are supposed to be I guess. But sometimes, when looking around, when reading the papers and watching TV or simply by observing what is happening around me, it all seems so unfair. Growing older opens your eyes. It makes you realize the world is bigger than your bedroom, the park where you used to play ball. Yes, even bigger than that circus tent that seemed so enormous and shiny when I was a kid but, if I see it back now, seems rather small and dusty. The years of childhood are years we desperately try to shake off while growing up and just as desperately try to cling to when we see the years passing faster and faster. Looking back we tend to sugar coat childhood memories and believe everything at that time was easier and nicer. Our parents probably did the same when we were young, and their parents before them. The years when we were younger are they years of innocence, and no matter what we do, we can’t keep them. –BM-
Cover by Jay A. Rickard.
BEAUTIFULMAG | Everything That Is