“I recently discovered that my son, who is 17, is a homosexual. We are part of a church group and I fear that if people in that group find out they will make fun of me for having a gay child. He won’t listen to reason, and he will not stop being gay. I feel as if he is doing this just to get back to me for forgetting his birthday for the past three years – I have a busy work schedule. Please help him make the right choice in life by not being gay.”
Last week Americans all over the world celebrated Thanksgiving. Though the day was originally initiated as a day to be grateful for the blessing of harvest and of the preceding year in the first American settlements, it has become a popular holiday also for many non-Americans, simply to throw an excessive dinner party. Much fun as that can be, I believe that this day actually has the potential to be something so much more. I think this day could be the day on which we all stand still for a few minutes as say thanks for the thing s that have happened to us over the last year or in our life in general. The things we usually take for granted. Acceptance for who we are by our parents and peers for example. Because unfortunately this is still not the case for many gay men and women.
Whether the paragraph I used as an intro here is true or a fake, it is unfortunately a situation that is still all too common. The non acceptance of homosexual children by their parents, simply because they do not understand or refuse to understand that being gay is not a choice like a coat you wear to go out, but an essential part of your being. Should it have to be more difficult than being straight? No, it shouldn’t. But it still is.
Amy Dickinson is an American newspaper columnist who writes the advice column As Amy. It was here who had the questionable honour to formulate an answer to the cry for help for this devastated parent. The first paragraph of her answer is as follows: “You should teach your son an important lesson by changing your won sexuality to show him how easy it is. Try it for the next year or so. Stop being a heterosexual to demonstrate to your son that a person’s sexuality is a matter of choice – to be dictated by one’s parents, the parent’s church and social pressure.” Bless you Amy. Even though written with a sarcasm that makes you smile, regardless the seriousness of the topic, it is hearth warming that there are people like you who are willing to make the effort to show people how wrong they are. This is something to be thankful for.
The same day I came upon this article from Amy Dickinson I ready a conservation in which pone shy guy in a club approaches a random guy and tells him how cute he is. This takes courage. When asked if he’s alone, the random guy says, no, I’m with my girlfriend who just went to the washroom. The shy guy shies away and stumbles excuses. Imagine how he must have felt. But instead of judging him, the random guy turns to him and says,: hey, it’s cool. A compliment is a compliment, no matter who it comes from.” Engaging in a conversation about this topic, one of my friends says he knows a guy who brings his mother to every bar and club he goes to. Now this might be a bit too excessive, but at the same time isn’t it beautiful that there are people, parents and peers alike, who do not even ask themselves the question? They just take us as we are because we are who we are. And that small blessing, that is something I’d like to celebrate Thanksgiving for. -BM-
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