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Van Waffle

I agree that emotions are natural, they are what they are, and nothing to be ashamed of. It's the resulting behaviour that can cause trouble. I've experienced a little sexual jealousy, not much, but what I feel more often is a burst of anger when I think someone I love has taken me for granted. This insecurity leads me to act in a way similar to how I would if overcome with jealousy. I think those intense feelings do arise from insecurity and lack of trust, actually. As you pointed out, your jealousy arises from not trusting yourself, but it amounts to the same thing. More often than not, my lack of trust for others is rooted in patchy self-esteem. However, I believe we can learn to trust better - both ourselves and others. That means jealousy can diminish. We can't control our emotions, but we can change the underlying switch, which is how we think about situations and judge the actions of others. I've been learning not to avoid unpleasant feelings like anger, fear, shame and jealousy (in theory, because I'm not prone to that one), but to pay attention. Usually they can teach me something about myself, and they keep trying to teach me until I learn.

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